Jim Ryan Invites Student Body to Death Duel at 2:00am As Part of New Student Engagement Initiative

As the second year of President Jim E. Ryan’s tenure rolls in at the University of Virginia, Ryan continues to engage with the student population by inviting them along in his efforts for a healthy lifestyle. “I really feel as though the students at the University enjoy the 6 am runs, and I think they’re ready to take it up a notch,” said Ryan while announcing his next event: Dueling Jim Ryan to the Bloody End on Saturday’s at 2:00 AM at Carr’s Hill. “At the University of Virginia, students are always looking to increase their engagement, commitment and dedication to the University and I truly believe that potentially sacrificing your life in this gory and grueling duel is really something that the University can do to build a bridge with the community.” Ryan intends to meet students at the steps of his home, prepared to massacre every last one of them, in order to promote himself as a more accessible President. “Higher education unfortunately has the stigma of administrators coming across as elitist and far above the students, and I want to change that by interacting with students by puncturing their abdomen, slitting their necks, or slicing an ear or two. Dismemberment is a great way to connect with students on a more intimate level and hopefully change the perception that the University administration does not engage with students enough,” Ryan stated. He also revealed an accessibility plan to give low-income students free access to swords and blades to make the duel as equitable as possible. The University’s policy in the unlikely event Ryan is defeated by a student is that, in the spirit of student self-governance, that student shall be named the next President of the University.


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