Starting at UVA can be a stressful time, especially with everyone constantly throwing around niche incredibly-specific UVA vocabulary with no context and then getting mad at you when you don’t understand them. Luckily, we here at WUVA Comedy are here to help before you utter the word “Campus” around a pack of second-years and are never seen again! Here’s the top 10 most important pieces of UVA lingo you should know, and what they mean:
10: TJ– The Juicelaundry, a place to buy the 9-dollarest açai bowls in town, and nothing else important. Don’t let anyone convince you it means anything else.
9: NOVA– In Spanish, “no va” means “don’t go”. This is a clever reference to how you also should not go there.
8:Clem– Clementine. UVA has one of the highest prevalence rates of scurvy of any college in the United States. We all carry these around to ward it off.
7:757– The amount of times in a typical conversation someone will remind you they’re from there.
6: Campus– The place where we go to school, with all the buildings and stuff! Use this around people and often.
5:Consulting– A pretend job a lot of people at UVA want to do, but many more don’t quite understand what it is. I can explain, though. Well, you see, consulting is when
4:UVA-VT rivalry– all you need to know about our rivalry with Virginia Tech is that whatever they have, we have more of: national championship titles, the respect of your parents, and people that will cut your brakes if you get a higher grade than them on a midterm.
3: CIO- i’m not exactly sure, none of them will let me in. Love to be a part of one, someday.
2: Pre-Comm– Pre-Communism, or the people who adhere to the Marxist principle of the socialist state as a transitional one to the Communist stateless and classless society as outlined in 1846. The extent of any belief in transitional socialism depends on whether or not they adhere to Marxism, Leninism, Maoism, or the dialectical materialist viewpoint, but either way, engage these people in discussion about leftist politics. This will go well for you.
1: Grounds– Um, it’s literally what you stand on when you go outside. How did you even get in here if you don’t know what the ground is? Do I need to explain sky?
