Advertisement

UVA To Give Students “5 Mental Health Days In A Row” Next Spring Semester

CHARLOTTESVILLE, VA: “Oh, so it’s gonna be like Spring Break? Go figure,” said a bitter fourth year who has been working nonstop since February. The...

Student Health And Wellness To Start Sending Students Even More Reminders Of Negative COVID...

CHARLOTTESVILLE, VA: At least when you test positive all you get is a phone call. At the start of this semester UVA ramped up its...

BREAKING: UVA Students Realize That UVA Has Student Government On First Day Of Voting

CHARLOTTESVILLE, VA- “Oh, there’s an election? That’s weird. I haven’t seen any campaign posters,” says a third-year who has been in quarantine for the...

New Restrictions On Lawn Room Signage Justified By The Fact That Thomas Jefferson Didn’t...

CHARLOTTESVILLE, VA- Lawnies are in for a rude awakening when they learn that Mr. Jefferson is the father of our country’s independence, not the...

UVA Announces Next Tuesday Will Be An “Unwellness Day” Designed Specifically To Overwork Students

CHARLOTTESVILLE, VA- Did you have a nice day Tuesday off this week? Well, next Tuesday will probably make you cry. As many of you may...

EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW: Child Whose Popsicle Jim Ryan Admitted to Stealing

In the conclusion of his most recent update video regarding the lifting of COVID restrictions, President Jim Ryan bizarrely went out of his way...